Support For New Mums

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I’m A New Mum, Where Can I Find Support?

BY SCARLETT GILL

If you’re feeling guilty that you don’t connect with your new bub – you’re not alone. After the initial overwhelming excitement of meeting your baby, many mums (and dad’s) feel a sense of grief and loss over their old lives, and anxiety about their new identity and role as a parent, but few feel comfortable admitting that they’re struggling to connect with their baby the way they think they ‘should’.

Don't let those big baby blues fool you, parenthood is hard work

Don’t let those big baby blues fool you, parenthood is hard

You’ve probably read all the books about what to expect each trimester of your pregnancy, and even know a little about bathing, swaddling, sleep cycles …. but many mums wonder why no-one told them about the other parts of becoming a mum. Like how breastfeeding can be difficult and frustrating, or the loneliness many feel at 2am (and 3am, 4am and 5am), or the intense anxiety/fear/frustration that is felt when your baby cries for hours on end without any apparent cause.

The important thing to remember is that even though it can be lonely, you don’t have to suffer alone. Many other parents feel the way you do, and connecting with others who share and understand your feelings can help you feel supported and better able to cope. There are many resources out in the community that can help you, as well as your own social supports. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Early Childhood Centre

Your local early childhood nurse can connect you with a mother’s group, as well as answer any questions about feeding, sleeping, growth and development that you’re unsure about.

Mother’s Groups

Having a network of mums that are going through what you are, and who’s babies are the same age as yours can help normalise your experience and help you to feel supported.

Tresilian

Tresilian has a help line you can call to ask about anything related to your baby, they also offer day and night stays if you’re struggling with sleeping, routine, feeding, emotional support and more.

PANDA

The Post and Antenatal Depression Association website has information and tips for coping with a new bub. They also have a national perinatal depression helpline.

Your GP

A GP can help connect you to different services and give you information about what’s available to help you through your challenges

A Clinical Psychologist

Talking to an external professional can help reduce the guilt and fear of judgement many mums feel about admitting that they don’t connect to their child.

Family

Let your family know what you need from them, whether it’s more practical help, emotional support, or less advice giving!

Your Partner

Let your partner know how you’re feeling and you may be surprised to find that he’s feeling the same way. If he’s not on the same page, help him to understand how you’re feeling and let him know what you need from him to feel more supported.

Friends

It’s important to catch up with friends and let them know how you’re feeling, but choose friends who you know will listen and empathise, rather than friends who will give you unwanted advice, or be unknowingly dismissive

Scarlett Gill is a compassionate and empathic clinical psychologist who specialises in working with kids, teens, adults, parents, and families.  She is dedicated to helping people overcome whatever problems they are experiencing in their lives, whether it be anxiety, stress, depression, low-self-esteem, self-harm, and behavioural problems.


 

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